Revelations...

• Gris Clair...Serge Lutens... Oh duh parfum! Hints of stone-washed lavender, Gin and Tonic, the ubiquitous vanilla, and a dry pine copse. Thanks Kemal.

• I've met a remarkable guy, depressed, scatter shot mind organized like an essay. We've got similar souls but he's on a different level, sharing the same space. He's a provocateur, a trickster, and I wished we deserved him as an artist. But he deserves himself as an artist. He feels alienated and compromised in our society of lifeless personas. His self love is brittle. I want to show him he's complete. Even Narcissus chose nature as his mirror, not some shabby intellectual imitation. "Pull down thy vanity" - Ezra Pound "I'll be your mirror" - Lou Reed "Insanity is a placebo" - GRM

• After a year nursing myself back to health on pills, wills, cognitive therapy, walking the talk, generally being Pavlov's dog's body... I'm becoming a productive citizen (as opposed to deductive I suppose). Returning to work after being sick for so long is not so revelatory, but it is surprising how my dread has been replaced by the old familiarity. I just hope this old security blanket of familiarity doesn't breed contempt, or fear, and thoughts of death. What keeps me alive is an enthusiasm for tenderness and pleasure.